End of Year 1

End of Year 1 Reflection 

I have just finished the last assignment of my last class of my second semester. This brings my first year (out of three) of my MFA in Studio Arts and Emerging Media at UCF to an end. Yay!

It has been a challenging and frustrating year, mainly because I felt I had to prove myself and my skills, as this year I am the "outsider" and only student who is not a recent graduate of UCF. My classmates in the incoming cohort are less than half my age, giving me a new appreciation for the trials and tribulations that I have lived, while inspiring me with their lust for life, optimism and focus. Everyday, I tried my best while kicking myself for being so rusty, seeing only a shadow of what I could be, if only I had not been distracted and had not distanced myself from my personal artistic practice for so long. It was a painful experience and one that I had to face and move through regardless of how I felt about it. 

First Semester

Besides from the required Studio Concentration class, I did not take a studio elective in my first semester. Instead, my time was occupied with an Advanced Art History class and Desing Principles class (both theory classes), academic research, reading and writing. Knowing fully well where I stood in relation to where I once was, I both dreaded and looked forward to the spring semester. BUt first, I had to take a few days after school had started to deep clean and set up my chosen studio space, which had been well loved the year before. Generally speaking, it was clean enough for a working studio, but apparently not for me. I had to get on my hands and knees, scrub baseboards, fill holes, sand walls and repaint with a favorite wall color to truly make it my space. 

At this time I was also still working as a full time substitute teacher in my (former) classroom at the middle school located an hour + away from UCF, so time was (and contiues to be) my most precious commodity. At the benginning of this semester I also decided to get tested for ADHD, which turned out to be a very real thing for me. Finally, after 53 years of  torturous self deprication and confusion at my inability to be "normal", I was forced to show myself some compassion and to look for resources to help me suceed on this new endeavor. For this, I am grateful. 

Midterm came in extraordinarily quick! Midterm at the graduate level at UCF consists of each student setting up their work in their studio and inviting professors to view and give feedback on it. Although it is an informal review, I found it to be extremely helpful and a great opportunity to talk to professors whose expertise was new to me due to scheduling. Attending professors are there by inviation only and drop by anytime from 9:00am to 4:00 pm, while the event takes place. As this was the first time I encountered the large majority of professors, I incorporated some of my previous work into my set up, to familiarize my visitors with my ideas and aproach. Food is provided throughout the day. 

 The final critique came equally fast eight weeks later. Final critique is a formal event, attended by invited professors, program administrators, upper division students or/and family members. Students choose specific times and locations in which to hang their chosen works in the studio's common area walls and are given a 20 minute time frame in which to rpesent their work and respond to the audience. The audience moves from one location to another, asking questions and/or providing feedback as they see fit. This is also an all-day event and food is provided for all attendees. I'm not going to lie, I was nervous when I saw the number of people who showed up. It was well attended by many new faces, including former professors and notorious allumni from out of state. Students support each other by taking notes during each other's presentations. Midterm and final critique days are exciting and exhausting but also, greatly appreciated! 

Bellow is a quick tour of each day's set up for me during my first semester. 

    

Second Semester

With the exception of Studio Concentration class, graduate studio classes at UCF are blended (made of upper level undergrads and grad students) and not instructional. Graduate students are expected to "know their stuff" (skills) and create work that demonstrates mastery of a chosen medium while developing a cohesive body of work. This was an intimidating notion to me, because I am the kind of person who thinks I know nothing most of the time.

In the spring, I took Advanced Drawing with Associate Professor Theresa Lucey and Advanced Painting with Professor Carla Poindexter. In both classes, the upper level undergrads were inspirational and created superb work. The professors are admirable in their own disciplines and their expertise and love of teaching were present in every interaction I observed.

The

Left: Base Drawing. Charcoal on newsprint, 24"x30".Right: Final Drawing. Polychromos pencil and conte chalk on Arches paper, 16"x 20"

Advanced Drawing class provided students with much needed drawing practice from models, complex still life set ups twice a week, and weekly homework assignments. This class provided an excellent opportunity for me to not only refesh my forgotten basics, but also rebuild my confidence as an artist. 

Graduate students were not expected to create homework but rather bring their drawing practice into their independent work. Class time became serious brain-gym time for me, as I reacquainted myself with drawing concepts learned 30 years prior and blended them into my observations of the UCF instructional method for drawing. I challenged myself to capture someone's likeness from life again, so that was my focus. Prior to taking this class, I had heard of the specificity of the drawing teaching technique at UCF, so I was not only curious but also a little intimidated about it. It turns out, the method relies heavily on analizing intersecting lines to determine angles, which is something I had experienced at the High School of Music and Arts, the Art Student's League and FIT (SUNY). I had also recently reviewed this concept as explained in the title On Drawing Tress and Nature, one of my favorite classic drawing instruction books, written by the victorian arist J.D Harding. 

First portrait after my first instruction of the  "descending line inspection" technique as taught at UCF.

The thing that I found unique here was the encouragement to make and keep the many marks made duting the intial scanning of reference points that compose a drawing, as part of the end result. Keping these marks  show how the artist's eye moves throughout the work, thus keeping evidence of the drawing process at all times. Thanks to this approach, I now have a deeper understanding of the process of drawing as well as a new appreciation for this aesthetic and teaching method, even when I chose not to use it in my own work. 

From left to right #1. MM235.7 NOBO, #2. MM17.6, Big Cypress. #3. MM116, Alvin Ward Park. #4. MM178.9 Micco Landing. #5. MM239, #6. MM226

In painting, I started the semester with a few, 9"X12"monochromatic studies based on photo reference I had taken during my FNST Thru-hike. I used a limited value scale, which enticed close observation of value shapes. At the beginning of the semester, I moved towards a highly planned illustrational style, but at the end I was searching for evidence of a more visceral and spontaneous process in my work. Doing so allowed me to discover joy in the range of marks I produced, while evolving the concept of what a "good" painting should feel and look like for me. 

The midterm and final critique followed the same format as the first semester's, bringing stress, excitment, determination and regretably, quite a few extra pounds into my life. 

   

It truly is like riding a bicycle, even if you wobble and almost fall, eventually it comes back. After my first year, I am grateful beyond belief to be here and eagerly look forward to the next two! 

And now, I need to get ready for a super busy summer!